Roses are red, violets are blue, I wish this show would improve without further ado.

Consider this my Yelp review of this show.

Samantha Irby has the sole writing credit for “February 14th,” the seventh episode of the sophomore season of “And Just Like That.” I am typically a big fan of hers, so it pains me to say this felt a bit like a Michael Patrick King episode. The plethora of puns and much-anticipated return of Aidan led me to guess that MPK penned this one; it felt a bit like a filler episode, and tonally, it was all over the place. Nothing much happened, but at the same time, we seem to be gearing up for a lot of things to happen.

The storylines were a bit tighter, though—likely due to the fact that Nya and Seema each practically had nothing to do. As usual, though, Carrie’s narration is sorely missed—only phone calls (and one lunch) connect all of our ladies to one another.

I’m looking forward to seeing Charlotte return to work, Miranda return to dating, and Carrie and Aidan to return to…whatever the hell that was. It’s unfortunate that it took us seven episodes to get to this point, but if there’s anything we’ve learned from these seven episodes, it’s that this path is going to be uneven and tonally dissonant.

Blessedly, there were only two scenes with Che in them, and there were a few actual laugh-out-loud moments, so I think we can consider this episode a bit of a win.

Let’s get into it.

We open in Carrie’s iconic apartment to some cheery music playing.

CAN HE SEE ME????

Sitting in bed, she opens her laptop, sees an email from Aidan, and promptly closes her laptop, but not before we also see that Carrie is a generous New York Public Library donor. (Of course she is.)

In unrelated news, why is Carrie’s bed so goddamn small? Sarah Jessica Parker is tiny but looks huge in that bed. Carrie deserves more than a double bed and a chair as a nightstand!

Anyway. To the dulcet sounds of a New York City sanitation truck backing up, Carrie once again opens her laptop and clicks on Aidan’s email.

Cut to lunch with our three leading ladies. Carrie tells Miranda and Charlotte that Aidan is coming to town for a meeting (convenient!) and that he asked her to dinner for Thursday.

Charlotte, being Charlotte, exclaims that Thursday is Valentine’s Day (so we have once again skipped some time here) and continues to lean into her Charlotte-ness by pondering whether or not Aidan knew it was Valentine’s Day, and whether or not he has a girlfriend.

This logic feels flawed.

The conversation shifts to Miranda’s Valentine’s Day plans. (Still no update on Steve and that divorce.) Charlotte asks if there are any “ladies on the horizon” for Miranda, and Miranda tells Carrie and Charlotte that she doesn’t know who she is attracted to now—she was attracted to Che and they happen to be nonbinary.

I personally think the bigger issue is that she was attracted to Che, not what sex she is now attracted to. (Also, why the need for a label? I guess they are nearly Boomers.)

Charlotte, of course, is very excited for Miranda to find love again.

Over in Brooklyn, Nya is video-chatting with two of her friends, both of whom are married but are trying to make plans with Nya for Valentine’s Day since it’s her first one without Andre. Maybe I am in the minority but I don’t view Valentine’s Day as a very big or important holiday? I suppose if I got out of a very long relationship, I might be a little down on a holiday that is all about love, but my boyfriend and I don’t really celebrate it or anything—it’s never been a major focus in my life and these characters are all really making a big deal out of it. But I guess that’s what people do on TV shows.

I digress.

Nya says she doesn’t need her friends to babysit her and that she has grand plans to make a chocolate soufflé. OK then. Knock yourself out.

I kind of love the phrase “me-vening,”

Nya’s friends seem displeased that they can’t ditch their husbands.

Finally, Anthony gets something to do other than cut bread in Charlotte and Harry’s kitchen! His Hotfellas delivery guys are very upset about having to wear their skimpy uniforms during winter (which, I don’t blame them).

But, the bread phone rings, and we learn that Anthony sent Drew Barrymore a bread basket and she now wants Anthony and a Hotfella on her show for Valentine’s Day.

Unfortunately, Anthony finds out that nearly all of his employees are on HGH (human growth hormone), and, to his credit, Anthony fires all of them. Mario Cantone is continuing to carry this show on his back.

Over at school (all of the children on this show attend the same school), Rock and their friends are waiting with bated breath for the out-of-home ad to cycle through to Rock’s placement. This is a really long flight for this ad—it must have been performing well. (It’s also kind of a boring photo but whatever.)

MILF 2 and MILF 3

LTW and Charlotte are discussing Rock’s modeling career; they have meetings set up with the “all three top modeling agencies,” and Charlotte has also started an Instagram for Rock which has reached 3k followers.

Of course Charlotte has an Instagram for Richard Burton, and there is no way on earth that LTW follows that dog’s account.

What a missed opportunity for the AJLT marketing team this was.

LTW catches a glimpse of Herbert Jr and his girlfriend Baxter, who are exchanging some serious PDA on school grounds.

She confronts them, embarrassing Junior.

Baxter tries to make nice by complimenting LTW’s handbag, and then we get some weird line from LTW about how it has a strap and leaves her hands free to not hold it all the time in public which seems to be alluding to Baxter’s grip on Junior’s belt but really just makes no sense.

Back in Brooklyn, Miranda is browsing LGBTQ+ dating sites and pondering which to join. She ignores a call from Che (always the right move imo) and goes back to pondering her future.

So, what is Che up to? They have ventured to the Upper East Side to go to Lexington Candy Shop with Carrie. I suppose the show tried to establish in previous episodes that these two are friends without Miranda, but this still feels odd. Even my boyfriend, who has never watched this show and only hears me complaining about it, interjected to say that this felt weird. I have not forgotten that Che had sex with Miranda in Carrie’s kitchen while Carrie was awake in her bedroom trying to get to the bathroom, but I suppose Carrie has.

Che asks Carrie if Miranda is ghosting them, and Carrie admits that she probably is. “It’s kind of her MO with her exes,” Carrie says. This, you may remember, is accurate: I am reminded of this iconic line from the OG show.

Che says they are just trying to return a box of Miranda’s stuff so they can Airbnb their apartment. First of all, why would Che not just text this to Miranda instead of calling, as Miranda clearly is not answering their phone calls. Second of all, you cannot Airbnb a rental apartment in New York without landlord approval, and I have to assume Che does not have that. Do any of these writers actually live in New York City?

I hope you all can actually hear the classic Carrie yelp that this evokes.

A small black dog crosses their path and Carrie screams as if it was a rat—which, she thought that it was.

Che decides to befriend the stray dog and picks it up, telling Carrie to relax and that they used to do this all the time.

Have we ever seen Che look this genuinely happy???

Cut to Che carrying the stray dog into a veterinarian’s office. They clearly know the vet, and we later learn that Che used to work there. Others may feel differently, but Che being an animal lover still does not endear them to me.

The vet does offer Che their job back though, which is nice. Good for them.

Back in Brooklyn, Nya and Miranda are browsing Books Are Magic, Emma Straub’s lovely bookstore. (Support independent bookstores!) The place is fully decked out for Valentine’s Day with streamers everywhere; meanwhile, Nya (accurately) points out that Black History Month merits only two shelves and a table.

But Pride Month comes early, because it’s time for Miranda to continue exploring her sexuality.

She and Nya chat about LGBTQ+ dating sites and Nya gives Miranda the same advice she gives her students.

Miranda compares her lack of a sexuality label to a student without a major; the longer this metaphor goes on, the more annoying it gets. Just because Nya is a professor doesn’t mean we need to tie everything back to that. The writers truly have no idea what to do with Nya’s character. Off she goes in search of a soufflé cookbook while Miranda pokes her head into a “Pride and Prejudice” reading (big week for “Pride and Prejudice”) (if you don’t know what I’m referring to, go watch “Barbie”).

In case you were wondering when this was filmed, peep Prince Harry’s memoir on the table there.

Turns out, the woman giving the reading is also the narrator of the Jane Austen audiobooks—and, it’s another “Younger” alum! Hello, Miriam Shor!

Miranda is captivated by Amelia, who is dressed beautifully all in red. They both hair their hair slicked back.

That is the correct reaction to have when someone tells you they run to Jane Austen audiobooks.

The two have a very unrealistic-sounding exchange in which they acknowledge they each “get the other going.”

Not long after, Miranda is on the phone with Carrie, recounting this meet-cute. Both of them are arriving back in their apartments.

Why is Carrie’s entryway so empty? This feels quite odd to me, although whoever directed this episode (Ry Russo-Young) clearly loved this shot as we go back to it a few times.

The two exchange an unsettling number of puns until Miranda’s excitement gets the best of her.

What a way to end this scene.

Over in the York-Goldenblatt home, Harry is napping in what looks like an extremely small bed for two grown adults to share. Does no one on this show have an appropriately-sized bed???

Charlotte interrupts his nap and instructs him to find a Valentine’s Day dinner reservation because Lily is having an “eff the boys” dinner party with the “cool girls”

I would just like to point out that Charlotte is wearing stirrup pants.

Evidently, Blake broke up with Lily two weeks ago—bummer. But hey, at least the mean senior girls who made fun of Lily’s music are now friends with her.

This is a Harry Goldenblatt stan account.

Charlotte agrees to a 5:30 dinner reservation despite all of the appointments she and Rock have at top modeling agencies. I’m sure we’re in for some escapades.

Over at the Todd-Wexley apartment, LTW is in her closet (where else?) and Herbert excitedly shares that he scored a reservation at Monkey Bar for Valentine’s Day. This feels exactly like the type of place they would go.

Herbert Junior interrupts their excitement by sharing his own—Baxter’s parents have gotten these two teenagers a suite at the Mandarin Oriental for Valentine’s Day (a school night!).

According to my research, the most expensive Central Park suite would run Baxter’s parents upwards of $3,000 (and this is booking seven months out!).

I’m really putting my journalism degree to good use here.

LTW’s reaction is appropriate.

Herbert Junior is very upset, and pivots to reminding his mother how much she embarrassed him at school. Yeah, kid, that’ll get her on your side. Junior looks to his father for help, and of course, Herbert doesn’t do much except offer Junior and Baxter hang at their apartment for Valentine’s Day instead of going to a luxury hotel. He helpfully tells his son that both of his siblings have sleepovers (on a Thursday?!) and that he and LTW will be out.

LTW gets very upset about the prospect of Junior and Baxter having sex in their marital bed, and then goes on to clarify that she is OK with Junior having sex; she just doesn’t like Baxter.

I can’t help but wonder if LTW is really just bothered by the fact that Baxter is white, which would have been an actual interesting angle to take but of course MPK will never go there—which, tbh, is probably for the best. I just want some solid writing from this show! If you’re going to allude to something like this, go all the way!

While browsing a card store, Charlotte is chatting with Anthony about his upcoming appearance on Drew Barrymore’s show. Anthony is lamenting the fact that he had to dismiss most of his Hotfellas, and the ones that are left aren’t morning show material.

However, fate intervenes and Charlotte spots a very hot poet who is selling poems for $1 in the card store.

When she approaches him to make him an offer, he of course thinks she is propositioning him and tries to refuse. (It is apparently not the first time he’s been propositioned this day.)

The poet, who is Italian and has the accent to boot, apparently agrees to appear on the show, although we never actually see him agree.

The next morning, in addition to being V-Day, is also D-Day (Drew Day).

Also Dick Day.

Charlotte is watching Drew’s interview with Anthony, which seems to be going well.

When Giuseppe appears on set, the bread basket puns are…over-flowing.

Drew falters a bit and is clearly only looking at poor Giuseppe’s crotch.

After the segment, Hotfellas’ Instagram is blowing up, for obvious reasons. Giuseppe hands the onesie back to Anthony; he has had enough. Anthony begs Giuseppe to work for him for a week, to help him get through the Valentine’s Day rush; he reluctantly agrees.

We get a cameo (and not the Che Diaz variety) from Ross Matthews who clearly just wants to see Giuseppe in the onesie. I feel bad for Giuseppe and if I had to guess, I think the whole Hotfellas thing is purely for the gay men who watch this show.

Cut to Seema and Carrie, who are getting “emergency massages” in anticipation of Carrie’s big reunion with Aidan. Seema evidently has a drawer full of spa gift cards, which I suppose makes sense since that seems like a gift people would get for their real estate agents.

However, as it is Valentine’s Day, this spa is only doing couples’ massages, which they did not disclose to Seema when she booked two (single) massages. Seema takes this as a personal attack on her singledom and goes off on the poor woman at the reception desk who probably makes $15 an hour.

Carrie begs off, telling Seema she can’t handle a Valentine’s Day insurrection. Seema does her best Karen, informing poor Kayla that she is TAKING THIS TO YELP!

I guess I understand why Seema is upset, but this level of outrage is a bit much. Also like…what’s wrong with enjoying a couple’s massage with a friend? Idk, it felt like the wrong hill to die on to me, but what do I know.

And that was the extent of Seema in this episode.

Charlotte and Rock are at the “cool” modeling agency (which isn’t even in Manhattan, Charlotte notes disdainfully), and it is now 40 minutes past their appointment time. Charlotte would wait 40 minutes at a modeling agency in Manhattan, but not in Brooklyn!! This show’s attitude toward Brooklyn has not progressed since the original one ended. Brooklyn real estate is often more expensive than Manhattan now! Sure, Charlotte is an Upper East Sider through and through (the fancy part of the UES, not the part where I live) but even she would know about Brooklyn now.

Charlotte also goes full Karen on the receptionist at the modeling agency, pointing out that Rock is featured in out-of-home ads for Ralph Lauren all over the city and therefore should be able to jump the line. Rock, appropriately, is mortified as Charlotte drags them out of the agency.

Upon arriving home, Rock informs Charlotte that they don’t want to model anymore.

Charlotte reminds Rock about all of the time and effort she’s put into their modeling career, and Rock points out that they have had nothing to do with those 3,000 Instagram followers.

It’s back to Richard Burton’s dog-stagram for Charlotte apparently.

In the kitchen, Lily and the cool girls are singing along to Taylor Swift. Timely. (This song was also featured at the end of the most recent season of “You.”) Lily begs Charlotte to go, saying they don’t need the cake that Charlotte thoughtfully procured.

Charlotte helps herself to a brownie; it is very clear to me where this is going.

At the restaurant, Charlotte is recounting her day to Harry, venting about their children and how ungrateful they are toward her. She’s getting more and more agitated and then she realizes “something is really wrong.” Harry is preoccupied by the fact that the restaurant is already insanely busy at 5:45.

Charlotte asks if she’s slurring her words, which leads Harry to believe she’s having a stroke. The hostess of course thinks this is a ploy to get seated faster, and Harry yells at her to call an ambulance.

There is a very sweet moment when Harry tries to get into the ambulance with Charlotte; the EMTs unfortunately don’t let him. I genuinely love these two.

Of course, we also get a great moment in which Charlotte calls out to Harry from the back of an ambulance, reminding him to let Carrie pick out what she’s buried in. The EMT assures Harry that Charlotte isn’t going to die.

Before heading out on their romantic Valentine’s Day date, LTW arranges her and Herbert’s bed just so, in anticipation of catching Junior and Baxter having sex in it.

Herbert seems to think she is overreacting a bit, but off they go. It must be said that Lisa’s red outfit is stunning.

LTW isn’t the only one who looks stunning for her V-Day date; this may the best we have ever seen Miranda look?! She’s rocking a vintage purple Halston dress, gold accessories, and slicked back hair. OK, Cynthia Nixon. Apparently Amelia has asked Miranda to meet her at her apartment instead of going to dinner; Miranda is very excited.

Nya assures Miranda that she will be fine with her chocolate soufflé.

My friend JoAnn made another astute observation; Nya talks about chocolate a lot. The writers definitely have no idea what to do with this character. At least she gets more screen time than Seema in this episode, although at what cost.

Carrie, wearing a full-skirted floral dress and lovely white coat (idk which designers, you aren’t here for fashion commentary), arrives at an unassuming-looking restaurant where she is greeted in Italian by the host. After dropping Aidan’s name, Carrie is led to a small table in the back.

The restaurant is practically empty, which seems weird for Valentine’s Day. I assume it’s either a hole in the wall, or a restaurant people bring dates they don’t want to be seen with—I hope we all remember “Secret Sex” (S1E6 of the OG show), in which this poor woman dates this total loser who is embarrassed to be seen with her and Carrie thinks Big is doing the same thing to her.

Anyway. In the ER, the doctor reveals that Charlotte didn’t have a stroke, she just has a significant amount of THC in her bloodstream.

Reader, I chortled at this.

Harry defends Charlotte’s honor, stating that she doesn’t even take Advil PM. But! Charlotte remembers the brownie she ate.

The doctor instructs her to go home and sleep it off, and I’m sure this ambulance trip to the emergency room visit will cost them about $5,000—chump change for them.

But, Charlotte’s accidental drug experience gave her some clarity. She tells Harry she’s tired of being Rock’s momager, Lily’s maid, and Anthony’s pimp. She’s resolved to call Victor Garber back and ask for that job at his gallery. Good for her!!

I think we all saw this coming, but I’m proud of Char—she needs this! Her kids do not, in fact, need her now more than ever.

Back at the restaurant, Aidan is now 20 minutes late and Carrie’s phone has died. The waiter helpfully lets her use his charger.

Of course, Carrie starts to over-explain her situation and, to his credit, the waiter just wanders off.

Meanwhile, Nya is enjoying her soufflé. Good for her. Those aren’t easy to make. (There’s a reason I stuck to Italian food.)

Miranda, still psyched for her date, arrives at Amelia’s place with body language reminiscent of that time she got too drunk and confident around that really hot guy she once went out with.

Amelia opens her apartment, revealing a small studio (no judgment) which is quite filthy (yes judgment). Miranda steps right into the cat’s litter box.

Amelia also is in sweats with her dirty hair pulled back—not exactly the sexy Valentine’s Day date Miranda imagined.

I am getting “Dirty Girl” from “Friends” vibes.

Unfortunately, Amelia has left her flannel sheets in the laundry room, so she asks Miranda if she has any quarters as they may need more time to dry.

She abandons Miranda in her filthy apartment, leaving Miranda with a stack of menus and a promise to grubhub “either before or after.” That’s hot.

(At this point, there are about 10 minutes left in the episode and I’m wondering how much longer this show can draw out Aidan’s reappearance.)

LTW and Herbert arrive home. Upon inspecting their bed, it seems to still be untouched. Herbert is relieved, until LTW opens her closet door to reveal Junior acting as an Insta Boyfriend to Baxter, who is holding LTW’s yellow handbag from earlier in the episode.

Unsurprisingly, this is decidedly not OK, and LTW motions for Baxter to leave which she dutifully does.

Junior looks to his father for help, and Herbert reminds him what is most important to LTW.

Carrie phones Miranda, asking if she thinks Aidan would stand her up. Despite not having seen him in nearly 15 years, Miranda is insistent that Aidan is a good guy.

(Carrie has also apparently forgotten that Miranda also had a date tonight. Typical.)

Miranda fills Carrie in on her cat shit show; Amelia is down in the laundry room and Miranda is left with a litter box and a naked bed. Carrie reminds Miranda that she can just…leave, which apparently hadn’t occurred to Miranda.

This is my excuse anytime I’m around a cat.

While Miranda is getting her coat on to leave, Carrie gets a text from Aidan. He’s here!

575 is a New Mexico area code, which is…odd.

Except he’s still nowhere to be found in this restaurant. Clearly, someone has their wires crossed—and it’s Carrie. Aidan is at the restaurant next door.

This cinched coat they’ve got John Corbett looks a bit weird on him, but otherwise he looks great!

They exchange a heartfelt hug, and then head inside the correct restaurant for their reunion. SJP looks genuinely happy to be working with John Corbett again.

Aidan tells Carrie that he was sorry to hear about John’s death, which was…big of him, considering how Carrie and Aidan’s relationship ended (the first time). He read “Loved & Lost.” Carrie confirms that time has helped, and that she is doing much better now.

Aidan reveals that he also cyber-stalked Carrie, telling her that he wasn’t sure if she had someone in her life as it wasn’t information he could find online. They confirm they are both single and also thought the other stood them up, but are relieved to be back on the same page.

Unfortunately, as the cab pulls up to Perry Street Carrie’s UES brownstone and they exit, Aidan is surprised to see that Carrie still lives there. (Aren’t we all.) (Wouldn’t he have noticed the route the cab was taking? I guess he hasn’t lived in the city in awhile, OK fine.)

But, remembering how their relationship ended (the second time), Aidan cannot bring himself to go up the steps of that building. The memory of him buying the apartment next door, redoing the floors, and her subsequent inability to commit (and his inability to trust her) (for good reason) is too much.

It was never just about the wall.

Carrie points out that she hung wallpaper and repainted, and tries to ask Aidan if it was all really bad. But Aidan can’t go up those steps.

Aidan turns to leave, then turns back around, and, in a tonal shift that only this show would attempt, suggests a hotel instead.

I think there might be an empty suite at the Mandarin Oriental they can use.